HAWKS v JOKERS - a umpire’s view


Pre-game Umpire Chat - 5 mins before push backf

Umpire 1: A few Hawks regulars aren’t here, they’re looking light on subs. Only 9 players warming up, Jokers have 20.

Umpire 2: Jokers looking good for the W, mark it down now.

Umpire 1: List of Hawks items to watch for: Young 73 occasionally spews out the night before, obviously don’t want that on the field, 
keep an eye on it.

Ref 2: Got it

Ref 1: Number 6, Australian, likes a bit of niggle, getting under the skin of the opposition, also, watch for ball tampering.

Ref 2: Of course

Ref 1: Last thing, after game drinks, Ian likes to walk out on his bill for banter, don’t let that happen to you.

Ref 2: No chance


Umpire 1s internal monologue

1st half:

5min: A lot of energy from Hawks, maybe they are going to pull this one out.
10min: Goal from Jokers.  Hawks seem to have flamed out. That low number of subs hitting home already.
15min: Was that young 73 having a spew near the sideline? No, actually doesn’t look like it. So far, no hangover to be seen, 
carry on young man.
25min: Delightful play from Hawks, patient build up the middle, they’ve created space inside the 25, Jokers are scrambling, 
129 sweeps from outside circle to 56 on the post, got to be GOAL TIME… somehow no… 56 missed the tip in, Hawks coach should 
hook him for that….ah yes he’s got the call. Off the field and think about your commitment levels champ.
35min: Short corner for Hawks, Clean drag out and stop, 14 flicks strongly, looks like GOAL TIME, actually no, just over the top bar.

half-time chat
Ref 1: Thoughts
Ref 2: I have a hunch Hawks are going to put in 5 goals this half
Ref 1: Seems likely


2nd half:
45min: Numbers 18 and 2 combining to work Hawks carefully out of their defensive left hand corner, start of play that eventually 
leads to a short corner for the Hawks.  Short corner drag out is good, but fumble at the top, 56 has cracked it in way too hard, 
that was no use to anyone.
50min: Number 57 getting through a power of work, creating pressure at the right end of the field, passes to 73 who works it in, 
strong hit and fantastic touch by 66, great goal! 1-1 scores level, Hawks are pumped up, they might ride this wave of momentum 
home. 1 in, 4 to go.
55min: Disaster - a Hawk and a Joker contesting the ball and barrelling straight at me, I’ll just plant my feet and lean my 
shoulder into contact. Take that lads!
65min: Miracle ball from 22 to 6 sprinting across the field and collecting it in the attacking right hand corner, bit of cynical 
play by Jokers, let’s have a short corner.  Yet again, Jokers survive the shot on goal.


Post whistle:  Hawks clearly the superior team here but can’t put the ball in the net. Jokers scrambling defense effective enough 
to hold them to a draw.

HM